31 weeks- the beginning of MANY new adventures

Well, I sit in my 1 BR hotel suite in Dallas, TX just about to start working for the LA office as I begin week 31---only 9 weeks to go. Baby Lanz is kicking up a storm, as usual. Many friends have joked the little dude is gonna come out with a mowhawk and six-pack abs giving us the universal "rock out" sign with his fingers! I'm so excited as the time grows closer to meet the little guy, but I'm sad as well today as I am leaving Drew here in Dallas on /Sunday (in 2 days) and heading back to Nashville. I never imagined I would finish the end of my pregnancy sans Drew ( I will see him every other weekend till June 5), but then again, life always proves to be an adventure, one of which I am not always the travel agent of. LOL. I KNOW we will get through this, we have a lot to be thankful for (such as our jobs) and I fully believe that God never gives us anything we can't handle. But still, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of sadness/emptiness as I leave Drew. Thank goodness for skype---we can still see eachother.

I was always that person that LOVED being a kid, loved the energy of kids, but always worried about the responsibility of having kids and what I would be like as a parent, etc--but I knew I wanted them and HAD to have them. It's SUCH a big job. But, that's always how I've been. Anytime I am entering the unknown--I get what I call COLD FEET. I always jump in anyways, cause why not, but I think about everything that can/will happen- almost as a way of preparing myself so I can actually enjoy it along the way. (I will also admit to prolonging things I am scared of/nervous about---but again, I eventually go for it!) Some just wait and go through it, perhaps that's the best way. But, in my case, I feel I've heard all the talks about late nights with the baby, no sleep, lack of personal life, etc....and I feel I've dealt with it all head on emotionally and how I will handle it. Drew and I have had great talks and I am so lucky to have a REAL partner...so I finally feel all these great levels of joy flooding in---like EVERYTHING I am excited about in having kids. Like sharing this little life of Lanz w/ the man I love, reliving life as a kid in sorts (going through it all again), playing, learning, living in the moment like kids do, teaching him to ride a bike, camp, sing songs, dribble a basketball, roast marshmellows, swim, swing on swings---I really could go on and on. I imagine what he'll look like all the time- surely he will have parts of each of us and or our family. All I know is I can't WAUT to meet Lanz and I know Drew is just as thrilled as I am. We are ready to tackle our biggest adventure yet...parenthood!

More to come. Heck, it's only my first entry. :)